Samson's Column
Listen Here
The phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Hi Mr. Samson, my name is Karen, I'm calling from International Toothpicks, how are you today?"
I'm thinking, why is this person whom I have never met, interrupting my dinner to ask me how I am? I feel like saying, Karen you really don't care one little bit how I am, and if I told you it would mean nothing to you, but I say.
"I'm ok."
"That's good. Mr Samson we're doing a survey about toothpicks and I wonder if I could take a few moments of your time to ask you a few questions?"
"Karen, I am in the middle of my dinner... Tell me, will this take long and are you going to try to sell me something?"
"It will take approximately 3 minutes."
"Answer the second part of the question Karen."
"Well the survey is to establish the viability and overall position toothpicks play in our society and find ways of increasing the interest their sales."
"And you are trying to sell me toothpicks."
"No, Mr Samson we are doing a survey."
I think, you are telling me your company spends time and money just to ask questions, with no thought of selling me anything? You have already taken me from my dinner and now you insult my intelligence. But Karen sounds nice so I say.
"Go on, and call me Sam."
"Thank you Sam. Firstly what age bracket are you in between ---- "
"Between 70 and 80."
"Oh!"
"Do you have our own teeth?"
"Yes, they became mine after the final payment some years ago."
"You mean you have a denture?"
"Top and bottom. Are you loosing interest in me?"
"Well, I, that is, er, we are, what I mean..."
By now I am feeling sorry for her.
"That's OK Karen I will go back to my dinner hoping you don't have to stay in this job much longer, it must be terrible. Bye the way, what are you studying at Uni?"
"I... how did you know?... Medicine, and thank you."
"Good luck and I hope you save more lives than you sell toothpicks."
I hung up gently. She was nice.
Sound familiar? People like Karen are becoming a nuisance, coming into our homes via the phone, at the times we don't like, trying to get us to buy the things we don't want, with the money we don't have. Just like the bloke who is constantly writing this column trying to get you to go to Eastwood Baptist Church. It's a friendly place and you will be under no pressure. I hear some of you are going and the attendances are growing. Well done!
Now how are you fixed for toothpicks?
Samson
Final thought:
"Beware of the politician who claims to be your servant, he knows he is your master."
